


Naked, Hungover, and Married

by hutchabelle



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Betrayal, Breaking Up & Making Up, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Enemies to Lovers, Ex Sex, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hangover, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Misunderstandings, Past Relationship(s), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26627245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchabelle/pseuds/hutchabelle
Summary: Katniss wakes up naked, hungover, and in bed with someone who sounds remarkably like her ex. Worse, there's a ring on her left hand.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 19
Kudos: 159
Collections: Everlark Fic Exchange - Springtime 2020





	Naked, Hungover, and Married

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Everlark Fic Exchange, Spring 2020 edition. Prompt: Katniss and Peeta who are exes wake up together naked, hungover, and married. [submitted by anonymous]

Katniss blinked her eyes open slowly and squinted against the sunlight streaking through the…very unfamiliar bedroom.

“What the hell?” she grumbled and slapped her hand toward the side of the bed where she hoped she’d find her cell phone. Her head was splitting, and she needed to inhale a gallon of water stat to start the rehydration process. Obviously, she’d had way too much to drink last night.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

Spooked out of her mind, Katniss shot upright in bed at the sound of the deep, masculine voice that emanated from under the covers and quickly grabbed the sheet and clutched it to her very exposed, very naked chest. She resisted the urge to glance under the covers. Her stomach sank as she realized she was completely nude and lying in bed with a squirming masculine something or other.

And if she wasn’t mistaken, that voice sounded really, really familiar. But it couldn’t be. Could it?

“Shit!” she screeched when Peeta Mellark emerged from the tangled pile of bedclothes and pillows, his blue eyes cloudy with sleep and creases in his skin from where he’d slept with his face pressed into the pillow.

“Katniss Everdeen?” he mumbled in a gravelly baritone that made her toes curl and tingle. He’d always had a gloriously sexy voice, even when she wanted to claw his eyes out. Most especially when he turned his pouty mouthed, dimpled face to hers and blinked his bluer-than-the-Caribbean eyes at her in an attempt to get what he wanted. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t even know where I am!”

“Stop yelling,” he grumbled and pressed a palm to the spot between his eyebrows. “I have a killer of a hangover.”

Peeta tossed the covers aside and rolled over so he could sit up. Her mouth gaped open when she realized that, like her, he was completely naked. And his ass. Was. Glorious. Golden skin over plump cheeks so rounded and ripe she wanted to take a bite out of them. She didn’t usually like peaches so firm, but she’d make an exception for—

“Don’t stand up!” she screeched, intentionally interrupting her very inappropriate train of thought, and threw a pillow at him. Startled, he grabbed it and held it over his crotch but not before she glimpsed his (very impressive, if she did say so herself) morning wood arcing proudly out of a dark blonde thatch of hair between thick, muscular thighs. “Good God. Put some clothes on.”

If he wasn’t already infuriating, he certainly was when he smirked and ran his gaze over her curled frame hiding under the sheets and blindly groping for her clothes on the floor by the side of the bed.

“You’re one to talk. Besides,” he added and lowered the pillow so it rested just below the cut of his hips. She couldn’t quite stop herself from glancing at the trail of coarse hair leading from his belly button down to his— “this is my house. I’m not the one naked in a bedroom that’s not mine.”

She gaped at his ass as he turned and strode across the room to the en suite. Just as he reached the door, he tossed the pillow back toward the bed and entered the bathroom naked as the day he was born. Infuriated at his audacity, she snatched the pillow out of the air and caught a glimpse of her left hand.

In particular, the ring finger on her left hand. Where a ring graced her finger. Two rings. One a small but beautifully cut diamond and the other—oh shit!—a plain gold band. She was wearing a wedding set.

“What the fuck?”

“I thought I told you to stop yelling.”

Stunned, she tore her gaze away from her hand and gawked at the man standing in the doorway, bare chested and bemused with his long, lean legs half-covered in cutoff sweats and crossed at the ankle. He leaned against the door like he was perfectly at ease. That he was, in fact, used to waking up with naked women in his bed every day of the week.

And maybe he was. She hadn’t seen Playboy Peeta since back in college, but then again, she hadn’t exactly been spending a ton of time with him since they’d graduated.

“How the hell are you so calm? I have an engagement ring on. I have a wedding band on!”

“You’re freaking out.”

“I am! Join me, won’t you?”

“Now, why would I want to do that?” he asked and sauntered toward her. The way his abdominal muscles shifted under his skin almost distracted her from his left hand, which he lifted to show—

“Oh my fucking hell.”

“Looks good on me, doesn’t it?”

She sputtered, “B-but th-that’s a wedding ring!”

“You know, I always told people I was going to marry someone really smart, and you, dear wife, just proved me right,” he said as he plunked down on the edge of the mattress next to her and leaned over to kiss the side of her head.

“What the actual hell?” Katniss spat and shoved him away from her. “Are you high?”

“Definitely not high, but I might still be a little drunk.” He stood quickly and swayed a little bit. He stopped and steadied himself with hands out for balance. “Nope. Scratch that. Not drunk but definitely hungover.”

“You’re insane. I mean, I suspected it before, but now it’s confirmed. You are absolutely nuts.”

“Thanks for your vote of confidence, but I’m not insane. I am, however, your brand-new husband.”

Katniss narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Two minutes ago, you didn’t even know why I was here, and now you’re coolly announcing that we’re married. Something doesn’t add up here.”

“It all came back to me in the bathroom.”

“You were in there for 45 seconds.”

“What can I say?” he shrugged and offered an infuriating smile. “Last night was memorable. It didn’t take long for it to all come flooding…”

He trailed off suggestively, and her mouth fell open. Again. Because seriously. What the fuck?

“We didn’t do that,” she insisted. “You are disgusting.”

“Funny. That’s what you said last night right after I cleaned all the, well, you know, off your chest and stomach and from between your legs. You weren’t wrong then either.”

She started at him, aghast, her mouth hanging open. Memories flickered in erratic flashes, and it wasn’t what she wanted to see. Most were definitely in the vein of what he’d just hinted. Something about him crawling up her body and licking creamy fluid from her belly before moving to her breasts and then devouring her mouth.

“I’ve got to get out of here. Where the fuck are my clothes?”

“What?” he asked, mock surprised. “You don’t want your loving spouse to cook you breakfast in bed? It is our honeymoon, after all.”

She glared at him before biting out, “I. Will. End. You. Where the _fuck_ are my clothes?”

“You know, if you can’t keep track of your things, maybe you shouldn’t have any.” She raised her face to rip him a new one, but he was dangling her lacy salmon colored tank top from the tips of his long, artistic fingers. She absolutely did not notice the raised veins in his forearms and the size of his palm when she snatched her shirt from him.

“Can you give me some privacy, please?” she said as primly as possible through her disgust, but he just chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re priceless. After what we did last night? Playing virginal doesn’t become you, Everdeen.”

“Yeah, well, if I actually married you, I’m not Everdeen anymore, am I, Mellark?”

Peeta froze, his eyes wide at her observation, and she took advantage of his surprise to push past him to the relative safety of his bathroom. He didn’t even protest that she’d pulled the sheet from the bed to cover herself when she went.

A hesitant knock sounded on the door, and she grumbled at him to go away. He repeated his gesture a couple more times before finally growling, “I found the rest of your clothes. At least take them.” She didn’t bother to thank him when she cracked open the door and snatched them from his hand.

She took her time putting herself back together, long enough for her hands to stop shaking and her heartrate to slow to a slow canter instead of the full-on gallop it had been beating since she woke up next to Peeta Mellark.

“What the hell happened last night?” she demanded in a harsh whisper. No matter how hard she tried to remember, nothing else came to her for several moments, and then only flashes of a club and the press of bodies and heat and so much alcohol and a really hot man grinding into her on the dance floor. “And this is why you don’t drink more often.”

When she felt like she had some kind of control over herself, she inched the door open to an empty bedroom. Wadding the sheet into a ball, she tossed it on the bed and scanned the space for her purse and phone and keys. Nothing. They must be in the living room, which meant she couldn’t sneak out the window to avoid seeing that smug bastard.

She crept down the hall in the direction of what she hoped was the front door. Sounds echoed down the hall, those remarkably like someone cooking, and her stomach grumbled loudly despite her hangover and horror. A sharp sizzle pricked her ears, and she sighed at the scent of freshly brewing coffee and something that smelled distressingly close to thick-cut slices of ham. God, she’d kill for a hunk of cooked pig right now.

Katniss rounded the corner and glanced furtively around the open room. A small living area, exceptionally neat and beautifully styled, stretched into a chef’s kitchen that held a disheveled, discomfited Peeta with a spatula in one hand and a carton of eggs in the other. When he saw her, he offered a lopsided, apologetic smile.

“Good morning, officially. I’m making breakfast,” he said and motioned to the barstools on the other side of the island where he was cooking. “It won’t take long.”

“Oh, uh, ah, I don’t think I can stay,” she stammered and edged to the door by which her purse and shoes sat.

“Katniss, please,” he asked, suddenly unsure and vulnerable. “I— we—”

“Very articulate.”

Peeta had the grace to flush before shoving a riot of blonde curls off his forehead. “Look, Katniss, last night was pretty insane. I agree with that.”

“Insane, crazy, completely irresponsible, absolutely not what we should have done.”

Hurt colored his features, and she regretted it for just a second. But then he opened his mouth again.

“Absolutely what we should have done. We’ve been skirting around each other for years. I, for one, am glad you finally admitted how you feel about me and gave in,” he insisted. “I mean, it’s not what I would have done if we’d been sober, but a quickie elopement is just as good as a big ceremony.”

She didn’t have words to answer him because, despite understanding every word he said, it seemed like he was speaking a completely different language.

“Admit how I feel about you?” she scoffed. “I thought that was perfectly clear. I can’t stand you.”

“That’s not what you said last night.” His tone was stubborn, and his mouth turned down into a frown. “Last night you told me you loved me. That you’ve always loved me since I bought your lunch at the cafeteria that day back in college.”

“Last night I was blackout drunk! I would have told a monkey I was in love with him.”

“Katniss,” he started, but she backed away from him.

“No! I don’t care what you say. I’m not in love with you, and I don’t want to be married to you. We’re not married! Not really. It’s not possible.”

“But—”

“Just don’t,” she shouted and grabbed her shoes and purse. “Goodbye, Peeta.”

And then she was out the door and running. She didn’t really care where. She just needed to be away from those wounded blue eyes and gentle voice that did something to her no matter how much she didn’t want anything to do with Peeta Mellark.

****

The truth was she had loved him at one point. For a brief period during their senior year when she’d given into his charms and slept with him. After he captivated her with his slick words and hooded looks that made way too many other women throw themselves at his feet. She’d been stupid enough to believe him when he told her she was the only one for him, and she’d agreed to be his girlfriend for two deliriously happy months. Until he broke her heart, and she refused to ever speak to him again.

And it’s not like he hadn’t tried a million times. Peeta had called her, emailed and texted, even shown up on her porch with flowers and some ridiculous present she didn’t give him the satisfaction of opening. She wasn’t going to allow him a chance to hurt her again, not after catching him lip-locked with Cashmere, one of the most beautiful women she’d ever seen. Not even when the woman herself let Katniss know that the kiss had meant nothing to her and that Peeta was still hers if she wanted. Katniss wasn’t going to settle for anybody’s seconds, even if he’d been hers in the first place. Graduation came just a few weeks after that, and she’d managed to avoid him around town in the years since. Now, at twenty-seven, she didn’t care enough about him to notice he seemed to have a different woman with him every time she glimpsed him in public or at an event where their infuriatingly small circle of friends had invited them both.

God, she must have been hammered to get anywhere near him last night, let alone marrying him and ending up in bed together.

She was three blocks from his house before she slowed long enough to reach into her purse where, thankfully, her phone rested. Snatching it out, she ignored the notification on her screen and dialed her best friend. When Gale answered, she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hey, Catnip,” he greeted her in his deep voice. Amusement echoed over the phone line, and she wanted to smack him.

“Thank fuck you answered. Where the hell were you last night when I was, apparently, getting plastered and leaving the club with my arch enemy?”

“You didn’t seem to think he was too bad last night,” Gale laughed, and Katniss almost hung up on him. Unfortunately, she needed to figure out what had happened because she didn’t remember a damn thing that made sense.

“Seriously, dude. I woke up naked and in bed with him. I wouldn’t do that if I was in my right mind, so tell me what happened. And also, why didn’t you stop me?”

“Well, shit, Catnip,” her best friend laughed. “You never could resist that guy, but I didn’t think you’d jump into bed with him after one night back together.”

“Back together?”

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“No,” she mumbled, but something pricked at the edge of her memory. Something about running into the back of a stocky, muscular, strong man who she’d leaned into gratefully. He’d been protective when another guy hit on her lewdly, and they’d started talking. Realized they already knew each other. Decided to catch up. Her discomfort at first because…

Oh god. Because it was Peeta, but she’d been just tipsy enough to be a little forgiving, and he’d looked amazing in his tight green t-shirt that made his skin glow and his eyes tint toward turquoise instead of aqua. And he’s looked so eager and repentant and his smile wide and his touch so gentle and warm.

“Well, it was entertaining for the rest of us, anyway.”

“Glad I could make your night better,” she groused. “Now, spill it.”

“You disappeared for a little while. Thanks for bailing on my birthday, by the way.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll make it up to you,” she snapped.

“When you didn’t come back, we got worried and went looking for you,” he explained. “Annie went first and couldn’t find you. Then Finnick took a turn and said he’d caught a glimpse of your back at the bar, but you disappeared before he could make his way over to you. So, I went to track you down, and, when I couldn’t find you, Johanna went on the prowl.”

“Not Jo,” she groaned.

“Yeah, she found you cuddled up to Mellark in the back room. You were talking in the corner and then kissing and then—”

“She didn’t know who he was, so she didn’t try to stop me.”

Gale huffed an irritated sigh. “Jo didn’t stop you because, when she tried, you told her you were getting reacquainted with your former lover and would she please kindly fuck off.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t bite my head off.”

“She did, but lover boy stopped her cold. And when he did, you told him to take you home or lose you forever.”

“I didn’t misquote _Top Gun_ to him,” she insisted. “I wouldn’t disrespect Goose that way.”

“Apparently, you did, and then you left with him. We tried calling. I would have come and gotten you, but you only answered once, and you were absolutely insistent that you wanted to be with him.”

“Gale,” she said as patiently as she could, “I was clearly drunk. Maybe not the best time to trust my judgment.”

“You weren’t drunk.”

“I woke up hungover!”

“I paid yours and Peeta’s bar tab. A total of two drinks each.”

“Then… Oh, good night, nurse,” she gasped. “I remember now.”

“Well, then fill me in. I wasn’t there for that part of it,” he said, and she could practically hear him roll his eyes.

“I had a flask in my purse. I stashed it in case you all wanted to stay longer than I wanted to pay for drinks, and I pulled it out and started drinking.” She gulped and groaned, “I came onto him. Asked him to take me to his place. That I wanted to apologize for not listening to him back in college.”

“And you woke up naked with him? Uh…”

“No, it wasn’t his fault. I wasn’t that drunk, and he was soooooooo… Dammit, he was so sweet, so apologetic. And then he kissed me.”

“I don’t really think I need to hear the rest of it, do you?” Gale muttered.

She snapped her mouth shut. She didn’t need to justify herself or share what had happened between Peeta and her the night before. Suffice it to say that she’d shed her clothes willingly, and they’d both slammed a lot of alcohol.

“Shit. I’ve got to go.”

Katniss dropped her phone back in her purse and turned in her tracks. She took a few hurried steps and then ran. She was out of breath by the time she stopped at his stoop, but she knocked while she sucked air into her lungs. It only took a few seconds for him to open the door, and when he did, she wanted to reach for him.

Hands twitching, she stated, “We’re not really married.”

“No.”

“But we slept together.”

“Well, I didn’t get a lot of sleep—”

“Peeta!”

He grinned sheepishly and nodded. “You were kind of insistent about the sex part. I didn’t mind so much.”

“If I remember correctly, I was very enthusiastic about it.”

“Yeah.”

“To be fair, I don’t remember much.” Peeta’s face fell, and she reached out to touch his hand. “But I remember wanting to. It’s the rings that don’t make any sense.”

He huffed and averted his eyes. Staring over her head at the tree in the front yard, he mumbled, “You wanted to see them. It’s the set I bought when we were in college. I wanted to propose to you, but we’d only been together for a little while. It didn’t matter to me. I already knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, so I bought them and thought I’d bide my time until, until…”

“Until you kissed Cashmere.” It still hurt to say, regardless of the years that had passed.

“Until she kissed me,” he protested. “I was telling the truth about that. She came onto me. It surprised the hell out of me, and I was pushing her away when you caught us. I tried telling you that for weeks, but you wouldn’t listen, and then graduation and I didn’t know where you went and—”

“And I wouldn’t answer any of your attempts to get ahold of me.”

“Your friends wouldn’t help me, and then I got my job and moved. It wasn’t until I came back last year that I knew how to find you, and you obviously hated me by then. I figured I might as well give up and take what I could get.”

“That was a lot of women, Peeta.”

“It might have looked like a lot of women, but none of them held a candle to you. There were so many because none of them got a second date.”

Katniss wiggled her fingers and then slipped the wedding set off and held them out to him. “You should have these back.”

His shoulders drooped, and he nodded when she placed them in his palm. He’d already taken his band off. His left hand was bare.

“If it helps, I thought they looked really good on you,” he said, his voice choked with emotion.

She smiled gently and took a step off the porch. As she backed away, she called, “Not ready for an engagement, but a date might be nice.”

His head popped up, and she could see his hopeful gaze from halfway across the yard. “Really?”

“You free tonight?”

“Yes!”

“Let’s try that bar from last night again. This time I’ll introduce you to my friends. 9:00?”

His smile stretched across his face, and he lifted his fist in triumph.

“I’ll be there!”

Katniss turned then and allowed herself a satisfied grin. It wasn’t every day you woke up married and ended up with a date.


End file.
